MY boyfriend is thrilled I’m pregnant – but he doesn’t know that my boss at work might be the baby’s father. I’m 21 and I live with my boyfriend, who is 29. I was delighted when I got a new job in a big computer store six months ago. I’ve always been a bit of a geek and I love all the new technology. My boss seemed very impressed with my knowledge of computers and cameras. He’s 32, really fit and seemed to enjoy working closely with me.
My boyfriend was pleased about the job at first but got annoyed when I started working late and we started arguing. We went out for a staff party one night and my boss was flirting with me. I was flirting back and telling him I was having a hard time at home. It seemed harmless. We were all buying lots of rounds and I was having a great time. I’d run out of money by the time the taxis turned up and my boss said I could stay at his place. He promised he’d run me home in the morning so I called my boyfriend and told him I was staying with a mate.
We both agreed nothing was going to happen — at least that’s what we said. He got me a duvet out for the sofa and after a couple more glasses of wine, he leaned in for a kiss. Things were soon out of control. It was passionate and frenzied. We ended up having s.ex and what sleep I had was in his bed. We’ve been having s.ex ever since. My period was late and I bought a test and I’m pregnant. My boyfriend noticed my mood change and asked me if I could be pregnant. I said: “Possibly,” and he’s over the moon.
I don’t want to hurt him. He’s been longing to have children with me but how can I be certain it’s his baby. Should I quit my job and make out the baby is definitely my boyfriend’s? Or do I tell him the truth and risk losing him? Bathabile from Capetwon
ADVICE: You don’t need me to tell you now how foolish you have been but it may be easier than you think to work out whose baby this is.
Unless you had s.ex with your boyfriend and your colleague very close in time, you may be able to pinpoint the likely conception day, which would be two weeks after the first day of your last period. There are calculators online or your practice midwife can help you. Fingers crossed it’s your boyfriend’s and you can repair your relationship. If not, you face a very difficult decision. If you did decide to have the baby in these circumstances, you would face deceiving your boyfriend – and your child – for decades